Okay

So technically, I'm still in Chicago. And, well, this blog needs a lot of work, seeing as how it sucks. But I'm trying not to let that get me down. After all, a crappily formatted, totally narcissistic blog is a rite of passage in this day and age. To not have one, they say, is to be Hitler. Or if not Hitler, than someone almost as bad, like Gandhi. According to reliable sources, Jackie Onassis also didn't have a blog. Less reliable sources also claim she killed her pets. 

So at some point I suppose I'll make a more complete statement of what this blog is supposed to be about. At this point, frankly, it's an embarassing piece of shit. In fact, if you're reading this right now, go fuck yourself. 

Ahem. Sorry about that.

So, what's this bastard going to be about? 

I'm glad you asked!  

Put simply, the idea here will be to obsessively and humorously chronicle my journey to Hollywood to become the finest male stripper in all the land. 

But seriously folks. What's going on is: I'm moving there to become a screenwriter. Or, failing that, the world's most literate toilet attendant. This blog will be a record of my triumphs, failures and weird happenings. It'll be crazy, it'll be depressing. It will be hot, humid and stupid. It will be, inevitably, a Hollywood Humilation.