The Importance of Remembering Ernest

An abbreviated (ie, half-assed) post today, inspired not by a birthday or even a death day, but by this funny video I found today.

As a kid, I loved the Ernest movies. I remember going to see Ernest Scared Stupid in the theater (dragging one of my parents along). I would have been nine years old. After a few months went by, I wanted to rent it, so we went to the video store. Being a shy kid, I asked my mother to ask the person behind the desk if they had it.

Now, my mother is a wonderful woman. I love her dearly. She is the most giving, self-sacrificing person I have ever known.

Her response to my (forgive the pun) earnest plea?

"If you want to know whether they have it, go ask them yourself."

Yeah. My mom wasn't a fan of ol' Ernest. And how could you blame her? We watched the shit out of those Ernest movies.

To give you an idea, let's say I'd developed incurable cancer and my dying wish had been to meet Jim Varney. I'll bet you anything that if he'd actually showed up and started doing that whole "knowwhutimean?" schtick, there's no way she would have been able to restrain herself from kicking him square in the balls.

Fortunately for everyone, that didn't happen. Unfortunately for me, however, they didn't have Ernest Scared Stupid. As a matter of fact, they never had it. I went back a few times and always made sure to ask, and then at some point (like two weeks ago) I just stopped asking, having grown out of it.

But I'm a big ol' nostalgic softy, so these movies still hold a place in my heart.

At some point I'll probably Netflix Ernest Goes to Camp, which has this adorable/ridiculous scene in it.

It's a good thing the Germans never thought of this. They could have captured the world.

Fun Fact: The character of Ernest P. Worrell was created by an advertising company for use as a versatile pitchman. Among the companies Varney did commercials for as the character was Kroger's, a grocery store chain that's apparently big in Tennessee (speciality: sows ears).

Fun Fact Part Deux: Jim Varney (who died in 2000) had a near genius I.Q. level. When people would come up to him and begin to treat him as though he were actually Ernest, his normal response was to shout equations at them until this happened.

Fun Fact 33 1/3: The "P" in Ernest P. Worrell stands for "Powertools". No seriously. That's what it stands for.

Fun Fact Brett Favre: These "fun facts" are a lot easier to write than paragraphs with transitions.

Knowwhutimean?